To love is a costly call, for love can have no strings
it steals time and breaks your heart and wrinkles everything
To love is to gamble if it were not for the Christ
Who swallowed death to save my heart because He knows my fight
The one I lose so hopelessly each morning when I wake
Because my heart is human and it hungers more to blame
To lust and twist and use this life for what I want instead
I merely open up my mouth and I can smell the dead (Matt.15:17-19)
To love is impossible without my anguished prayer
Please help me God to love so much I cannot help but care
Even when no not one of them desires my love at all
When I am trampled under foot, mocked and scorned and mauled
To love is a costly call for you were bled bone dry
No earthly guaranteed result, love clearly means to die
So as I die each of these days you've granted me O Lord
I'm watching for the many seeds You spoke of in Your Word (John 12:24)
©Cindy Palin May 2019
I know the information inundation is over the top when I can’t even put my bare feet on the floor in the morning without asking God to order my day. I use to be able to wait until I got to the breakfast table to ask him such things, but not anymore. I now have to strategically place all my electronic devices from my morning reach to prevent myself from getting sucked into the vortex of the virtual world. I want to receive my marching orders first. I want to live in reality.
Information is crucial, and I am so thankful I can open up my laptop and google for an answer to a question without having to run down to my local library, or rummage through a box of dusty books. But there is so many readily available info bites at our finger tips that our brain is finding it harder and harder to know what to do with them. If you see smoke coming from your ears beware of an impending short circuit.
I was scrolling through my instagram feed last night and my concern about our obsessive information stimulation took a turn. Not only am I overwhelmed with what is available, I am questioning its validity? Every little scripted meme with its correlating photograph is meant to roll off the tongue, and change our lives, but is it truth? How much power does each little quote actually have? And I know live video on instagram is the shazam, but too much of it is like listening to a stranger in the airport talk out loud to someone on their phone. Do we really want all these people taking up space in our heads? I could say the remedy is to be selective, but I believe human wisdom isn’t capable of selectivity without God’s help.
I came across a portion of scripture the other day, while reading “40 Days of Decrease” by author Alicia Britt Chole. While on this earth, Jesus never spoke from his own authority, but the Father’s (John 12:49). This tells me that we need to consider our words carefully. Where are they coming from and for what purpose? By whose authority are we speaking?
In John 14 we hear Jesus asking us to obey His words, the Father’s words (vs 23-24). These verses underline the truth that God’s words are life and not confusion. He is asking us to obey them that we might live. I know for certain this technology age is not what God had in mind when He said he wanted us to have life to the ‘full’ (John 10:10).
Then Jesus tells us the Holy Spirit is coming to teach us (John 14:26). I am reminded I can depend on what the Holy Spirit is telling me. When I ask my Lord to order my day, I can trust the Holy Spirit to help me sift through the ocean of information crashing up against my head, and help me determine healthy priorities, His priorities.
The chapter continues to reveal that God’s words bring peace, and ‘not as the world gives’ (vs 27). I am reminded most of what I read on a day to day basis in social media, and the worldwide web can bring discord. Information doesn’t always enlighten. Too much information can cause confusion. Even empty words can weigh you down.
And finally, verse 27b reminds me God knows all the information in our world today is toying with our sanity, and Jesus answers us by saying “Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid.”
All of this to say, don’t accept everything at face value (1 Thess. 5:21). Don’t talk for talking sake, walk the talk. And if you want to do that – consider your sources.
We’ve all heard so many memes about not living in our past, but instead looking towards the future. I like to look back and remember just enough to see how far God has brought me. When self doubt starts to crowd in my thoughts I am careful not to waste any energy thinking about how I started in my faith journey, but instead I focus every thought on how I plan to finish – faithful.
“I can do all this through Him who gives me strength” (Phil. 4:13 NIV).
“The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it” (1 Thess. 5:24 NIV).
Driving home from the U of C last Friday afternoon I caught a broadcast on the increasing mental health dilemma in our youth.
For sometime I have been quietly listening and observing our current daily practices in our culture. I believe our ability or inability to balance our lives is directly connected to our mental health. Recognizing or not recognizing the need for downtime should not be hinged on our age and generational background only, our personality traits must also be considered, as well as our spiritual beliefs and traditions.
For example for someone born at the very end of the Baby Boomer generation, one might conclude I don’t embrace technology therefore I am not plugged in 24/7, not cool, not hip, and live in slow motion. However I embrace technology and my addictive personality finds me fighting for mental balance among the fray – all of the time.
I attribute my mental health to cultivating my spiritual health. My ability to recognize when I am over stimulated or driven, or anxious comes from actively meditating on my relationship with Christ, and His Word. Might I suggest reading the Psalms, both the laments and the praises? It is a great way to contemplate injustice, sorrow, poverty, creation, beauty and nature, and realize humankind has faced similar problems and celebrations since the dawn of time. This truth reveals we are not alone, God can hear us, and He wants to comfort us and restore our minds.
If we are to navigate the overwhelming waters of our culture’s technology frenzy, we must make sure to schedule downtime for reflection and meditation, and genuine relationship.
The inability to go for a walk without a phone is a red flag. The inability to sit by the fire on a cold winter’s night without your computer is troublesome. Have you been watching a movie with your phone or i-pad in hand and feeling rather accomplished at your capacity for multitasking? Have you studied the advertising practices on television and recognized the same patterns? It isn’t enough to watch a movie anymore, you must have advertisements, and pop ups with even more information.
How often do you allow your conversation over coffee to be interrupted by your cell’s ringtone? Do you take all of your devices with you on a holiday? Are you one of those travelers who has to watch multiple movies? Do you take work home with you? Do you shut off unnecessary interruptions when you are studying? Ultimately we are overstimulating our brain. There is no longer an even flow of any one thought. Multiple chores and tasks are taken on at one time, with many left unfinished. We are stopping and starting like a beginner driver, or living from pop up to pop up.
Contrary to popular belief, we do not need to be plugged in 24/7. There have been studies done on teen stress due to having phones on all night. There are signs of loss of vocabulary, the inability to speak in full sentences. The emoji craze was fun for a fleeting second, but for some the world of texting and emojis have replaced reality, which can lead to an unrealistic craving for over sharing and drama. This drama can inadvertently change the atmosphere and attitude of your entire day, if it succeeds to pull you in.
Ever since the beginning of time we have been creating with the brains God has given us. However, when we leave God out of the picture our brains begin to hurt. We create, overstimulate and crash. Then we have to expend a ton of energy creating something else to fix the mess. Right now we are in that mess, and back paddling frantically to figure out how to help our brains heal.
God is the key to balancing our lives. God’s love, purpose and plan is the key to our mental health.
Today, if we are to take a real honest look at our nation, we have cause to mourn. By taking God out of our culture, our schools, our lives, our hearts and minds – we will continue to short out at breakneck speed. White noise here we come.
Contrary to the excruciating circumstances surrounding us at First Baptist, I awoke with such joy. I credit it to reading about our dear sister’s, and her family’s faith confession in the face of severe illness. They are still choosing to call God good, and so will I.
When I saw the rain outside my window this morning my heart leapt with joy. But my sister, how was she? As I went outside to work I paused, and looked up and welcomed the rain on my face. But my sister how was she? What ever she was experiencing, one thing was sure – her situation was reminding me of HIS gift called LIFE.
Strange how someone’s faithful posture in the face of uncertainty can lift so many hearts, and knit so many together.
Whether she is healed to spend more days on earth with us, or healed to enter heaven before me, my heart thanks her. In her suffering she has given more life to me than she’ll ever know, and has brought the promise of eternity closer.
And through the tears there is this unspeakable joy that cannot be explained. It is the Spirit bonding us together, whether near or far. It is the mystery of the Gospel calling us home and flooding us with HOPE.
Thank you my dear sister. You know well – God is still good.
People observing people… trying desperately to balance their lives. I wonder how many ‘balancing act’ courses exist? How many of these courses are able to teach us how to harmonize our chaotic schedules?
In seeking answers today, I came across a few articles that spoke about ‘plates being too full’. One author’s solution was to insist our vision was too small. “Get a bigger plate” he said. “O dear” is my rebuttal.
The trend today is to brag about how busy we are, but chaos should never be something we aspire to. Paul certainly had something to say about busybodies (1 Tim. 5:13). Don’t sign up to do more stuff simply because there are a plethora of choices.
I asked a colleague yesterday what her secret to balancing life was. She answered, “Ask Him”. Two very powerful words that we Christians can put into practice. Before signing our entire family up for our ‘culture craze’ way of living, let’s see what God wants. Jesus certainly was accountable to the Father. Christ’s short life on earth was purposeful and focused. He could have accomplished more, but instead He gloriously fulfilled his purpose. I have often reflected on how hard it must have been for him to restrain himself from healing everyone he met, just because he could.
While reading “Spiritual Leadership” by Henry and Richard Blackaby, I came across a paragraph that struck a chord. In brief they talk about a man who decided to climb Mount Everest simply because ‘IT WAS THERE’. Years later his body was discovered. He lost his life trying to achieve an unessential objective.
Isn’t that what we all experience at one time or another over the course of our lifetime? We embark upon the unnecessary, just because the opportunity is there, AND ‘balance’ continues to evade us. This is where the enemy of our soul wants us – running around in circles like a chicken with its head cut off.
The Blackaby’s write, “why are you taking a particular action?” “What are the long term ramifications?” The authors conclude, “Those who impulsively charge forward will eventually collapse on their mountain, their efforts misspent.”
So let us revisit the “Ask Him”, and let us challenge one another to read God’s Word, and find out what He has to say in regards to balance.
Blackaby, Henry and Richard, Spiritual Leadership, B&H Publishing Group, 2011, pg 86, 87.
The next time you mess up, remember we serve a God who runs after our heart!
“Forever is Ours”
I get stuck in the ‘here and now’, although free of my past.
I forget forever is ours.
I can fret all I want to, but you pray for me.
I’m never too far from your arms.
than a friend who runs after my heart?
Because it’s in my stinkin’ nature to propagate the lie,
that your forgiveness only goes so far.
So I’m struck by your patience and freed by your truth.
Reminded forever is ours.
You purchased my soul, you’re not trading me in,
and you died to hold me in your arms.
Why is it easier to picture a King who reigns on high,
than a friend who runs after my heart?
Because it’s in my stinkin’ nature to propagate the lie,
that your forgiveness only goes so far…
written in May of 2012 ©Cindy Palin
Psalm 103:12, Hebrews 10:17, Isaiah 1:18, Proverbs 18:24
The other day I was at the gym. I didn’t feel like going. It was my day off, but I knew I had to be there. Thanks to my hubby, our friend John, Lucinda, and so many others for their faithfulness and steady inspiration.
As I was going around the track an acquaintance told me I was walking at a good pace. I thanked her.
Later on I was on the bike, and she came up behind me and said “good for you”.
As I was walking out of the gym I saw a man who I knew, but could not remember his name. I spoke up and introduced myself, and we were able to connect the dots as to where we knew each other from. We had a pleasant conversation.
As I got into my vehicle I couldn’t help but think about how far an encouraging word goes. I sincerely think if that lady had not encouraged me I would not have had the courage to reach out to the familiar fellow who frequents the gym the same time I do.
Moments later I was waiting to pick up lunch and saw a couple of ladies waiting to order. I normally would have waved from where I stood, but instead walked over to them and had a great visit while we all waited for our food together.
The positive impact of encouragement fills us with joy – and that joy bubbles up and over into other’s lives.
This week at work I asked a couple of colleagues if they would start preparing to facilitate a class. Right away their shoulders were straighter, their chins were higher, their smiles much brighter. When we believe in people, build them up and encourage them – they find their wings and soar.
When we don’t take the time to speak kindness and truth, and encourage one another, we leave others living in the shadows, shrinking. They can break free and become who they are supposed to be eventually, but now is the time to share the joy. Why wait to say and encouraging word?
Yesterday coming home from church I was reminded about the annual Hitman Game and the Teddy Bear Toss, http://hitmenhockey.com/teddy-bear-toss. The news announcement brought back a difficult, but heart warming memory. Thank you – to our communities and the Hitmen Hockey Team, for your generosity and kindness during the Christmas Season. It made a difference to our little family, and we will never forget you.
One afternoon around Christmas time in 2007 I had gone down the stairs to our daughter’s bedroom to see why she wasn’t answering my call. We were all getting ready to go out and visit with friends. When I found her in her room she was not able to speak or walk. She was eight years old. I carried her out to our vehicle, and drove her down to the clinic. Her younger siblings were crying and frightened because their big sister didn’t recognize them.
Soon after our arrival at the clinic we were told about her Grand Mal seizure. Her Daddy arrived from work to comfort our children, and I got in the back of an ambulance to ride with her to the Children’s Hospital. After a very long night of nurses coming and going, poking and prodding and shining lights in her eyes, the sun arose. I waited to see if our little girl would open her eyes, if she would talk. I had been cautioned that she may have sustained brain damage.
Our daughter opened her eyes. She didn’t smile like she usually did, but she did look around the room. I told her where she was, but she didn’t seem to react, however she noticed she was sharing her room with another patient, a little boy in the bed next to hers. She shoved off her covers, and slid out of her very tall hospital bed. She walked over to a book shelf and pulled a book out. I then watched her go to the boy’s bed and reach for a chair that was nearby.
The seconds that followed were magical. I watched her turn the pages of the book, and heard her voice begin to read. Tears trickled down my face. I didn’t know what the days ahead would bring, but our little girl had come through a very difficult challenge. She was walking, talking and able to see another child’s needs.
Later that morning while we were resting I tried to stop my mind from worrying. I knew our daughter was in good hands, but the fatigue and the weight of our daughter’s health cast a long shadow on my heart. The word ‘Epilepsy’ had been used in the nurses’s conversations. What did it all mean? Would our daughter ever enjoy a normal life? Would she have another seizure?Just as my head felt like it might explode a group of men in hockey uniforms came into the room. They were all holding Teddy Bears. Our daughter sat up and blinked. The men smiled and three of them offered her a bear. I think it was because they had learned she had a brother and sister back home.
Their visit reminded me that so many people cared. We were not alone and forgotten in our sadness, but cradled in the arms of others, even strangers. The Teddy Bears were a symbol of compassion.
Later that day a neighbour and her son came to visit. They were frequent visitors to the hospital and heard we were there. Her son had had several seizures as a young baby and boy, and was in a wheel chair. Our daughter didn’t say much, she was very tired, but she looked at the little boy then back at her three bears, picked one out, and offered it to her new friend.
It was at Christmas time so long ago, in the Calgary Children’s Hospital, where our daughter was indeed given the diagnosis of ‘Epilepsy’, but it was then she also decided to be a Nurse. She never wavered from that call. Her health condition improved, and four very challenging years later, on September 9th, 2011, she was given a clean bill of health. Today she is married, with two beautiful children, and practices nursing on the Sunshine Coast.
Thank you Calgary Hitmen and all the Teddy Bear donors, for keeping the Annual Teddy Bear Toss tradition alive. We are witness to the difference a Teddy Bear can make in the life of a child.
Years later when another Christmas was fast approaching, my children and I were coming home from a medical appointment in the city. It was somewhere around 5:00 p.m. and the sky was already dark as I drove in a southerly direction back into town. My children could hear me praying out loud as I drove. A very dear neighbour was terminally ill with cancer, and I was begging God for a miracle of healing. The next day I planned to stop in to see her at the hospital, if she wanted visitors.
She had been battling stoically, but privately, and even that summer when I happened to bump into her on the sidewalk with her rainbow toe socks, and Birkenstock sandals, she didn’t want to talk about it.
I dropped the girls off at the house. Our son was away. I then turned around and went back to the office to finish up where I left off. When I got to the shop my husband’s face said it all. She was gone.
With my head buried in my hands, I quietly sobbed behind my desk. With only an hour left until closing, my husband insisted I go home. For some reason I picked up the phone, and called our eldest daughter to give her the devastating news, and to announce I was coming home early. God then prompted my daughter to be an instrument of hope in the moments that followed.
We lived only a few blocks west of the store, but the blocks stretched into miles. I pushed my foot down on the gas pedal, but the van belligerently crawled along. Streetlights lined the road, but not one of them seemed capable of beating back the darkness. The bleak winter night grew blacker than ever before and threatened to swallow me whole. My lungs lamented beneath my ribs. Why had God not answered my prayers?
“Why did you allow her to die?” my spirit screamed into the darkness.
“Her children needed her, her husband needed her, and I needed her!”
My emotions were all over the map. I felt betrayed, and deeply wounded. For one very dark moment I believed God had abandon us all. I cranked the wheel to maneuver up our driveway. There on the peak of an enormous white snowdrift, which had conquered our front step, was one small candle propped in a mason jar, shining defiantly.
God could have healed my friend, he could have made the moon stand still, but instead he chose to reveal himself to me through a tiny yellow flame, and the love of my children. The vast expanse of snow was indeed a vicious cruel reflection of the unfair world we live in, but the candle’s flame profoundly commanded the view, and spoke volumes.
“I hear you, and you are not alone” I heard Christ speak as I stared at the incredible view.
Christ’s presence lit up the sky and surrounded me. I went into the house and embraced my children. Together we walked to the window and silently watched the flame of the candle burn brightly.